Husband Jokes – Husband and Wife Jokes, SMS, Quotes, Pics and more

1 Presentation Does Matter

Two Wives chatting in office :

Wife 1 : I had a fine evening, how was yours?

Wife 2 : It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2 mins.

How was yours?

Wife 1 : Oh mine was amazing!

My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour.

When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairy tale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work

Husband 1 : How was your evening?

Husband 2 : Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate & fell asleep.

And what about you?

Husband 1 : It was horrible. I came home, there’s no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill. So I took her out for dinner which was so expensive that didn’t have money left for a cab or auto.

We walked home which took an hour & when we got home, I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house .

MORAL : PRESENTATION DOES MATTER……
NO MATTER WHAT THE REALITY IS

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2. Husband: Oh My God, He Is Still Celebrating

Husband: Oh My God, He Is Still Celebrating

Husband: Oh My God, He Is Still Celebrating

Wife: Look At that drunker.
Husband: Who is he ?
Wife: 10yrs back he proposed me I rejected him
Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating…!

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3 Wife Ki Nakal

Wife Ki Nakal

Wife Ki Nakal

Wife: Khana kha liya?
Husband: Khana kha liya?

Wife: Batao na.
Husband: Batao na.

Wife: Please… batao na.
Husband: Please….. batao na.

Wife: Achcha ji! Meri nakal?
Husband: Achcha ji! Meri nakal?

Wife: I Love U!!!
Husband: Haan yaar, khana kha liya maine…

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4 Baaju ke ghar se IODEX maang ke la

Santa and Wife

Santa and Wife

Santa: Baaju k ghar se IODEX maang ke la.
Wife: Wo log nhi denge.
Santa: Haan! Bade kanjoos or kamine log hai
Chal Apni hi almaari se nikaal le!

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5 Namak Le Aao

Namak Le Aao

Namak Le Aao

Wife to her husband: Suno, aate hue zara kitchen se namak lete aana.
Husband (kitchen se): Yahan to koi Namak nahi hai.
Wife: Mujhe pata tha, tum toh ho hi andhe, kaamchor kahin ke. Ek kaam dhang se nahi kar sakte, bas bahane banaate rehte ho, zindagi mein kuch to kaam karo. Mujhe pehle se hi pata tha ki tumhe nahin milega,
Isliye mein pehle hi le aayi thi.
Husband shocked!

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6 Khana Kisne Banaya – Marriage

Khana Kisne Banaya - Marriage

Khana Kisne Banaya – Marriage

Husband: Aaj khana tumhari maa ne banaya hai kya?

Wife: Haan….. Lekin tumhe kaise pata chala?

Husband: Roz khaane mei kaale baal nikalte the aaj safed nikle hain.

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7 Husband drunk, came to home Wife at door: how dare you.?

Husband and Wife

Husband and Wife

Husband drunk, came to home Wife at door: how dare you…..?
You promised me that you did not drink without any occasion, then why you drunk today?
Funny husband: darling, the festival of crackers diwali is coming..!!
Wife: so what ? What’s new in that..?
Husband: we need bottles to light rockets dear…

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8 An intelligent wife

An intelligent wife

An intelligent wife

”An Intelligent Wife Is One
Who Makes Sure She Spends
So Much
That
Her Husband
Can’t Afford Another
Women” 😛

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9 I Am Not Talking To You

I Am Not Talking To You

I Am Not Talking To You

Wife : I am not talking to you.
Husband : Okay.
Wife : Don’t you want to know the reason.
Husband : No, I respect & trust your decision!

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10 Wife and Husband

Husband and Wife

Husband and Wife

Wife: Viandi .. manam e varam motam cinema chudam , aa taruvata varam shopping chedaam

Husband: Aa Taruva varam menam temple veldam

Wife Eduku?

Husband Bicham adukovadaniki

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